Also, I wanted to go because I was offered an appointment to audition (so no lines) and as I teach singers, who regularly go out for these types of open calls, I wanted to freshen up my experience in the area, if nothing else. It’s all well and good to sit there saying do this, don’t do this, but there is nothing like hands on experience to share. So off I went. The baby was taken care of this morning, I took my guitar, several backing tracks and myself. No matter what they say, I’m over 30 and not exactly the most genre specific artist on the planet, so I had no great expectations of anything moving beyond base camp 1.

I arrived to a line around the block…there were already, at 9:00am, thousands of hopeful singers there. Here’s the first tip. If you go and are going to be waiting in line, take a fold up chair, water, food to eat, a hat, a coat if necessary and wear sunscreen. People were already getting dehydrated and tired. Some people are probably still standing in line as I write this. Also, minimize how much you talk to people in line. If you’re in line for 5 hours and you talk the whole time, you will be most likely tired and vocally fatigued by the time you get in the door. I would suggest taking an iPod and listening to your song (or songs) of choice and occasionally referencing some vocal exercises. You can do a number of exercises without belting to kingdom come. Humming work, light oos and glottal fricative stuff for example. Many singers underestimate the importance of just listening. I strongly recommend recording yourself singing your songs and then listen back to yourself singing them. It is invaluable to hear it yourself (outside of yourself) before you present it. Also..spend some time just deep breathing. When you’re nervous and your heart rate gets going….it’s hard to breathe properly…so slow deep breathing gets the heart rate down and will help you relax, which means you can breathe.

Ok, I didn’t have to stand in line, (which was quite nice) but that part, isn’t overly surprising as to what to expect. you’re in line, until called, and you just have to deal with that. Be prepared.

In these things, you are usually not alone when you sing. There are usually more than one person called a time, groups of 3 -5 and they ask you stand together, or wait while each person sings. Here is where I would suggest having more than one song prepared. If the person next to you sings your song, then you’re completely screwed. Also, if you can’t be prepared to sing more than one song at any given moment, than you may want to consider whether or not you’re ready to this at all. Here’s my experience point by point.

I was ushered into line with 4 other people. One girl, African American gal, with really beautiful wild curly hair. A Hispanic guy called Julio. Another gal, white girl who was hippie-ish leaning towards alternative. Then a lovely lovely Hawaiian girl called Chessa and me. We were put in order and told to stay that way. There were two rooms. The open call room and the appointment room. The appointment room had the casting director and a vocal coach. The open call room had probably a similar set up. If you’re there on an appointment they are expecting more, no doubt about that. Not that there isn’t talent in the open call line, there was! I heard them! But there is no screening…so anyone and everyone who thinks they can sing, is there…they have to be screened. So what they would do after they screened them, is they would either ask them to come back tomorrow or join the appointment line.

We were all called in together. The casting director, Michelle McNulty was there with a vocal coach, whom I didn’t recognize. He didn’t say a word, nor did he smile or react to anything. Michelle was lovely, and gave us all an intro to her right hand man who told us what to expect. In the email I received it said that tracks were preferred, but then, literally minutes before I was about to sing, they changed this. A Capella only or instrument. Now, if you are a singer who had only prepared one song with a backing track, again, you’d be screwed. You must be prepared for anything in this situation. One of the people in our group literally started to shake…didn’t know what to do.

The first gal got up to sing. Introduced herself. They asked her what she was going to sing…she sang the lead song from Miss Siagon. She had a drop dead amazing set of pipes…blew the roof off the place. When she was finished they said thank you…and that was it. Then Julio walked up. He sang a song called Water. He was ok…a nice voice, but his mistake here, I thought, was that the song went around and around in about a 6 note range…it didn’t go anywhere. Now the song may go somewhere in the second half, so if that is the case, start with the second verse. The audition panel looked bored and stopped him. Thanked him, and he left. Then the other gal, white gal, got up. She sang something I can’t remember. She was clearly nervous and it seemed the nerves brought her undone. Her voice was shaking and a little out of control. She also looked like she was coming from a hike or a gym class, her hair wasn’t even brushed! People…if you want to get to the next room to be in a TV show about performers, LOOK LIKE A PERFORMER! Look like the genre you are professing to be involved in. It’s CASTING! That means, they want to know exactly what style you are and if you fit the boxes they are looking to fill. If it’s ambiguous than they won’t know what to do with you. Some people look great in t-shirt and jeans…some people don’t. Make an effort and if you don’t know what to do, ask someone who knows. The #1 mistake I saw today was the way people were dressed. You don’t have to go all out, but people hear what they see first, especially when they are casting a show. True.

Then Chessa went. She was nervous, especially after the first girl blew the roof off the joint. I looked at her and said, “honey, do your thing! Don’t worry about anyone else. Loose yourself in the moment and don’t worry about anyone else!” She looked at me relieved and thanked me. She said she was glad I was there. I could tell she had a shot. She was gorgeous, young and she was dressed like a performer. They immediately liked her and started to engage her. She sang a song from Dreamgirls, I’m Changing. Mistake. Avoid, At Last, Dreamgirls, Beyonce, Christina Aguilera and Katy Perry. Once she started they looked disappointed. But, they stopped her and asked her to sing something else, something more age appropriate and current. So, she launched into Cee Lo’s “F*#! You”. Mistake! BIG Mistake. No-one wants to hear a pretty little girl swearing when performing. It’s a TV show. You can’t swear on TV, and now, they can’t even use your film if they want to. They all sort of shrugged. She was beautiful, and had a beautiful voice, and she had a shot, but sang the wrong stuff.

At this point, I decided (as I was fairly certain this was not going to be for me or I for them) just to take my guitar and sing a Patty Griffin song. I had 5 other songs in mind to do, but just thought, you know…2 girls just blew everybody’s hair back and didn’t get a nod, so obviously they hear a lot of that. I’m not going to do that either. I’m just going to be me. I took my guitar up to the mic, the sound man plugged me in. Quick check on the tuning. They asked if I was British, I explained to the contrary that I’m Aussie. They asked me to start. I sang Moses by Patty Griffin. They let me sing the whole song (or just about to the end of the out chorus) and thanked me, said that it was great. And that was that. It felt good. I love that song. It also felt age appropriate for me and showed exactly who I am and what I do. So that, whether or not anything came out of it…it would be 100% authentic.

Brushing up on this type of experience, that the things to consider are as follows:

1 – Be prepared. Know your songs inside and out. The WHOLE song. Prepare more than one in the same style. Be prepared to sing something else at a moment’s notice. Avoid profanity and be true to your style.

2 – DRESS THE PART. You don’t have to break out the sequins and the spandex, but look like the performer you want to be. You need to let them see what you would look like on stage. Jeans and a T-Shirt can be stage worthy, if done right. Consult with a stylist or a friend who you think has style. It is SUPER important!!!

3 – Remember that the person before you is not you. Don’t compare yourself to them. Be secure in who you are and know what you’re about. Go with yourself.

4 – Perform for these people. Try to move them. It will mean more than pretending your someone you’re not.

5 – Breathe.

6 – Most importantly, if you are not asked to come back or given a thumbs up, it doesn’t mean you are not talented or attractive or too old or whatever your worst criticism of yourself is. It probably means you are not what they are looking for. Simple as that. Onwards and upwards.

Waiting to audition, I heard countless good singers. Being a good, even great singer is the easy part in these circumstances. Remember you are a package. They will assess you as such.

Good luck! Hope this helps.

Finally Alison, Gregory and troupe came out, dressed head to toe in 1980s metallic spandex garb and draped in key-tars. Alison’s soprano soared over the Hollywood valley. It sounded gorgeous. But after the first song….several people around us got up and left. I was close enough to see the look on Alison Goldfrapp’s face. She kept her cool, but as a performer, I can imagine playing such a prestigious venue, full house, and how it would feel to have half the audience directly in front of you get up and leave either during or after the first song. The Bowl being the type of venue it is, people have their box and subscribe to the shows they want to see. The Bowl is divided into sections and if you’re not holding a ticket that puts you in the first 3 rows of the front, you can’t get there….in fact it’s pretty hard to move from any section at The Bowl once you’re situated. In this case it was obvious due to the odd pairing, a large part of the front row circle crowd came for Buena Vista, used their boxes for a bit of a show, dinner and drinks and then left when this weird electro-pop European group came on stage that they had no idea what to make of and clearly didn’t care for. Who can blame them. The music industry isn’t really designed for someone who is a fan of The Buena Vista Social Club to also be a fan of Goldfrapp. Two different demographics entirely. Not that everyone falls into this trap, but you know….

This left a few of us fans up the front all alone with ourselves. Now, I’ve been sandwiched in amongst people at concerts more times than I care to remember, wishing I had more room to move or to breathe. It was interesting for once to have the best seat in the house, nothing but space all around me and feel completely alone in my concert-goer excitement. Be careful what you wish for. Such a huge act and so many die hard fans there, but the best seats in the house, empty and the majority of fans in the nose bleed section.

Anyway, Alison didn’t disappoint, even though it was obvious the start rattled her. I’m sure she’s experienced and old enough to have figured out what happened. And, she’s enough of a professional to go within her own mind and take control o f her experience. And she did this with flying colours. Will Gregory did his best to get people moving and deflect for his partner. However, his outfit disturbed me a little bit, and I’m quite sure I wasn’t alone. He had full metallic spandex on and a blouse-y shirt. He’s grown out his fringe and hair…looking quite neanderthal-ish…in a new wave 80s way that is. But, in his typical “I’m-super-multi-talented-thank-you-very-much” fashion, he did rock the violin, the guitar and the key-tar and did a fair amount of singing in his bizarre ensemble. Alison stuck to singing this time and performing. Her voice soared over soprano to alto parts down to tenor parts with finesse. At one point, half way through, she reached her arms out towards the back and screamed with frustration “AURG! I wish you were closer to me!”. Damn straight! At that point I jumped out of my seat and bonded with the two gentleman to my right who were enjoying their date together and started to get into it as I wanted to. By the end of the night, literally, I was one of 4 people who right went up to the stage and had arms flailing and feet stomping. Now that’s not right is it, but what the hell….I felt like I had the whole band and the whole Hollywood Bowl to myself…now who’s the rock star?