Tim Minchin. Man after my own heart. Yes…take your canvas bags to the supermarket. Goddamnit.

How was the show? Well….is Regina Spektor a good singer? Yes, without question. Her voice soars and dips, sings almost perfectly on pitch the entire time, is flawless in it’s transition and holds a spectrum of sounds that rival Tori Amos. Is Regina Spektor a good musician? No doubt about it, she plays the piano with expression and feeling, she adds surprising little hooks to the middle of sections that take you by surprise and does this without any hint of rehearsal. Is RS a good songwriter? Yes. I wouldn’t say she’s one of the greats, but she is good and has a style that is unique to her that doesn’t necessarily play by the rules, but exhibits knowledge of the rules and structure that makes songs memorable and sing-able. I particularly like her ‘Laughing With’ song, along with several songs off of her 1st record, ‘Begin To Hope’. Did she have good musicians playing with her? Yes, Matt Chamberlain, who in my opinion is one of the finest drummers in the business, along with a lovely very competent string quartet. So then…why did my friend and I leave after 5 songs?

First, I will admit it was bitterly, b-i-t-t-e-r-l-y cold. Probably the coldest night we’ve had so far this season. That said, I would sit through an ice storm for great music or a great artist. I should also admit that I am not a die-hard fan, I like her well enough; I own her first record and listen to it every now and again. I agreed to go out of curiosity. You understand, you like an artist at a tier 1 level. To decide whether or not you want to move to tier 2, you go to a live show. I am a HUGE fan of live music and find this the best way to really hear an artist. So I went. She delivered but she did not blow me away. She did not reach me, or move me or make me think. She did not reach into my rib cage and rip out my heart. There was no blood on the microphone or the ivory’s. But whatever…that doesn’t bother me so much because very few artists can do that. I also knew that what I saw was an accurate barometer for the rest of the show.

The crucial thing that made me choose a car with a working heater over her remaining set…she played the little girl card. Now I will ask the question I have been asking myself for about 2-3 years…..and I beg for your answers. I’m serious…school me. Why oh why do women feel compelled to behave and/or sing like little girls????? This silly, giggly awe struck thing that goes on? It’s been a fad now for about the last three years and I don’t get it. Regina is 29 or 30 years old. She wore a dress akin to an Alice in Wonderland costume with a cardboard cut out cartoon bow on her neck. She giggled as she shrugged and covered her mouth and I guess it was alluring to those who dig it….but who are they and why? Is it as simple as pedophilia? Please explain.

I look at artists such as Madonna, Chrissy Hynde, Pat Benatar, M.I.A, Bjork, Tori Amos, Patty Griffin, Nikka Costa, Suze DeMarchi and NINA FUCKING SIMONE and I don’t see one of those artists pretending to be a little girl. Fiona Apple is probably an exception, as she has a tendency to behave cute and shy in between songs…but when she opens her mouth she has the voice of a 65-year-old jazz singer who is being channeled from the gates of hell and the gates of heaven simultaneously, so therefore, she gets a pass.

Personally I can’t take it anymore. I can see that she has it all right there…and yet she’s playing it safe and all perfect and it’s sooooo boring and contrived. I want to either be on the edge of my seat, or comfortably sitting back in my seat enjoying what the artist does brilliantly without any facade.

I know, I know. I sound jaded. I’m just merely asking the question. Why is popular? I really wanted to love Regina’s show…truly. I still believe she is remarkably talented, but the image…needs an overhaul in my humble (not that anyone gives a fuck) opinion. Where is the next great female role model? Because this little girl thing is tired.