My daily email from Billboard this morning featured “The Top 10 Worst National Anthem Performances EVER”, well, according to Billboard magazine and Monica Herrera. Of course I was intrigued. Over the years I have had several students call me in a mad panic having been asked to sing the National Anthem at a stadium or at a function of some sort. It seems to put the fear of God into any singer. It’s understandable. Usually the singer is required to sing it “a capella” which is not easy for most singers with any song…but the National Anthem isn’t just any song. The melody has a raised 4th in the verse which basically requires the singer to step out of the main key for a brief moment. The overall melody covers an octave and a half range, and does this in the first two bars. To cover that kind of distance in the voice requires control and some technique. Also, it is often performed at a stadium, which invariably creates an substantial echo or two, and unless the performer is wearing in ear monitors, or is seasoned enough to be able to tune this out, it can create a massive melodic train wreck, especially when the crowd usually sings along to the echo. So, yes it is challenging to say the least.
Based on Monica’s article, it seems there are three acceptable ways to perform the anthem. One:- Diva Style (Whitney Houston, Beyonce etc. Which means legato melody, belted out with vocal acrobatics galore). Two:- Traditional (a good singer just singing the melody no muss no fuss, with the acceptable run or blue note here and there) or Three:- Artistic (Marvin Gaye or an artist of any genre who cannot be tamed like a session singer….no matter what, they will sing it in a way that reflects what they do.)
Let’s look Monica’s choices for the worst performances of the National Anthem ever….
Coming in at number 10 is Josh Groban with Flea. Ok…I agree, this is an odd pairing but it’s not one of the worst ever performances by a long stretch. First of all, it takes balls of steel to walk out into the middle of a stadium with nothing but a bass player, a drummer and a brass section behind you. That would actually be more challenging than singing it ‘a cappella’…ESPECIALLY if you’re as accomplished, vocally as Josh Groban. Why? Well, there isn’t one instrument there that is polyphonic. The singer is relying on the various monophonic instruments to make up the harmony. Usually this is difficult to sing to due to issues with intonation, balance, rhythm and the list goes on. Therefore, I liked it. It was risque, it was odd. I would say that as the song reached the climax it’s a little lack luster due to the lack of solid harmony behind him. However, Josh sings on with conviction was unswayed, and flawless in his delivery. To call this one of the worst is just unfair. I might also like to add that to play the bass the way Flea did at the top of the song, requires some skill. I give Josh points for trying something different and changing it up. This goes in the Artistic category.
Next up at #9 was Keri Hilson. Keri Hilson forgot the words, caught it and fixed it in mid flight. Ok…not ideal, but It happens. At this moment you can hear the entire stadium commenting. Keri rose above it. Not easy to do. However, she did sing ‘a cappella’ and she did miss the alt note in the verse both times. This performance would go in the Diva category, however no self respecting Diva would miss that raised 4th note. So EEEEAAAAHHH thanks for playing. The girl can sing though, let it be known.
Ok…at #8 is R. Kelly. Oh dear. Mr. Kelly. Monica is spot on here in her noting that R. Kelly was clearly inspired by Marvin Gaye’s famous performance in 1983, although he does it his way. I also agree that it was unnecessary to have the dancers behind him. But, this falls into the Artistic category. R. Kelly is R. Kelly. He believes he can fly and lord help anyone who tells him otherwise. He does it his way and that is that. Also, it’s at a boxing match for Christ’s sake. Who the hell cares. People were entertained and they got their little dose of patriotism, all is well. It was cheesy yes, but it was R. Kelly.
#7 was Steven Tyler. This is just judgmental. To think that Steven Tyler would get up and perform this anthem any other way is naive. He starts with Harmonica and has his trademark scarves flying on the mic stand. He’s in tune as much as he needs to be, he gets the alt notes and adds some of his own….and he screams at the top of his damn lungs. This is “you either love him or you hate him” situation. I have at least 9 male students who would give their eye teeth to be able to scream like this at this range. Absolutely going into the Artistic category.
Ok…now we’re getting somewhere…coming in at number 6 is Jesse McCartney. Oh my dear lord…have Mehrcyah! I like how the news reader takes pity on Jesse and begs the question…”could you remember all the words to the national anthem if you were singing in front of millions of people?”. Well…most people might say yes I could. I’m not an American and I could do it, but the National Anthem for your country of birth should be like Happy Birthday. It’s permanently etched in your brain. That said, even if it isn’t, and you’re calling yourself a recording/performing artist of any description, who is about to perform in front of millions of people…you LEARN THE WORDS!!!! If you have stage fright to the point of distraction…you have the words written out in big text and have someone hold them up in front of you out of the way of the camera, or use a telepromopter. (I’ll admit that even this is lame, but some people need it). However, when you forget entire sections of the song (sections which coincidentally have the big notes) and don’t know the melody and don’t know how to sing in tune, nerves or no nerves, I’m sorry….GO HOME! There are so many more deserving performers. This just goes in the “WTF” category and is indeed one of the worst performances of the National Anthem EVER!
OK numero cinque….Aretha Franklin, Aaron Neville and Dr John. Dr. John and Aaron Neville, representing New Orleans and Aretha representing Detroit. To list any of Aretha’s performances of any song as one of the worst performance ever, and to put it AHEAD of Jesse McCartney’s tragic rendition takes some mighty ‘cajones’. To also poo poo a performance that has been designed to pay tribute to victims of the Katrina hurricane, well cajones or not, that’s just rude. However, this performance was disjointed without a doubt but not deserving of this list. First of all, Aaron does not have the “let me belt out this song right about now” type of voice, which a stadium gig almost begs. He’s a stylistic singer, who’s good in his range, and probably even better in a padded vocal booth with a studio microphone that can pick up the slightest wheeze deep inside one’s alveoli. Here he’s just lost, sonically. Completely lost. He’s doing his damnedest until Aretha marches in and just pretty much wipes the floor with him. Putting these two singers together in a stadium setting was just cruel. It’s like putting a lion and a mosquito in a boxing ring together and being surprised the mosquito fell down dead when the lion exhaled. But, Aaron represented his town, as did Dr. John…and he did a fine job. This goes in the Diva and Artistic category (and perhaps even the “weird tribute” category that we accept due to the circumstances).
Number 4. Scott Stapp from Creed. Horrible. Out of tune, wrong notes you name it. I’m not even going to dignify this with any further comment.
#3. To put Michael Bolton after that performance above that I’m not going to discuss, because I desperately want to erase it from my mind forever. The fact that my retina had to take a moment to process it for my brain at all is offensive to me on many levels. I know, I said I wasn’t going to comment, but that was until I watched Michael Bolton. Now, I’m not a Scott Stapp fan, but that is not why I’m offended by his performance. As I’ve said before, I’ll give anyone a go. I’m not a Michael Bolton fan either…not even a little, but to put this ahead of Scott Stapp is so wrong. Ok…Michael did have to look at his hand for his cheat lyrics which caused the entire stadium to murmur, but he didn’t mess up the lyrics as a result did he! He was prepared, even if it’s lame, he knew that he would forget that line and was prepared. I give him some props for this. KNOW YOURSELF. Don’t leave it up to chance. If you forget one line every time you practice it…you most likely will forget it live and then some. Of course we could argue that if you’re a professional you should never forget a line, but we’re not all Stepford Singers like Celine Dion. It happens. Prepare! Other than this little bungle, he does actually kill it. In quite a high key for his voice I might add. He even rises above the crowds mockery of his cheat sheet. No way this is worse than Scott Stapp. No Ha-way!
Before I even clicked on the link this morning I wondered where this next performance would rank. I knew it would have to be close to #1, if not #1. Roseanne Barr. It comes in at #2 and I say whatever. Who ever allowed her to do this is responsible. Not Roseanne. Apparently Roseanne was paying homage to Madonna….that is lost on me and I have no idea what that inside joke was about, but even if that is the case…spare the rest of us. Sense of humour or not (and I have a big one!) spare people’s ear drums and don’t waste my time.
Wait for it….#1…The WORST National Anthem Performance ever, according to Monica Herrera goes to Kat DeLuna. WTF? Who? This is worse than Roseanne Barr? Worse than Scott Stapp? Worse than Jesse? Kat DeLuna’s performance is lacking, no question. Frayed around the edges of her bravado, you can see the lack of confidence and towards the middle of the performance I wanted to run on stage and give the little girl a hug and tell her it will be ok. She’s a baby! This is personal me thinks. Let’s see…Monica Herrera (latina) and Kat DeLuna – who is of Domenican nationality and has had success in the Latin music genre. Yes. I think this is a case of Ms. Herrera letting her personal feelings, tastes and interests cloud her judgment. She calls Ms. DeLuna’s performance “a spectacular failure”. That is unfair. It is lacking, as I’ve said…but it’s also clear that Kat has some chops in there. And…even though Monica is adamant that Kat botches the final note, she’s wrong. Throughout her performance where she changes keys a few times (and not in a good way), she actually…in the very end, lands on the right note. I feel for these super young artists who have been thrown into the lions den because they have shown talent and they are easy on the eyes. To sing the US National Anthem, alone, a cappella, in front of thousands and sometimes millions of people is in no way easy. Monica is offended that Ms. DeLuna shows confidence in the midst of terror and maliciously points out that people booed at the end. Well, people also cheered which is more than you can say for Roseanne’s performance. People cheered at the end of Scott Stapp’s performance….which just goes to prove that many people cannot hear the water in their own shower let alone a good singer from a bad singer. There have been countless performers who have used audacity alone to sell records when devoid of real talent. The music industry wouldn’t exist without it. Kat DeLuna is not a true example of this. Yes she’s cute and she’s young. She’s bilingual and she can sing. Can she carry a tune a cappella…no way in hell, not this one. Is she an artist with a vision and something to say? I honestly don’t really know. I’m going to go with probably not. Kat is just a young girl who needs more experience. Needs to tame and harness her talents. But I digress. She is in no way deserving of the #1 spot.
Where oh where is Michael Paoletta when you need him? Enough with the music journalists that know diddly squat about music. Anyway…you have a look and let me know if that star spangled banner waves the way you like it. Land of the free? Home of the brave? Brave doesn’t cut it in Monica Herrera’s world.
Over and out!
Here’s a link to the Billboard article - check it out here.
